Here’s an ersatz epiphany if ever there was one: I haven’t been writing much for quite a while. Story of my life…
I have made so many of these re-starts after long droughts over the years that I feel that I have pretty well explored the available range of tone for such communiques. Since none of these approaches has ever prevented my subsequent relapse into unceremonious silence, I think that this time I am going to dispense with the navel gazing, the self-recrimination, the blithe platitudes, and the pluckily-optimistic plans for the next fourteen thousand words coming down the pipe. This time, just for a change if for no other reason, I am just going to pick up my pen and start writing again.
Another new year has rolled around, and as usual it has not found me any stronger, smarter, braver, more reliable, more diligent, more specialer, or otherwise improved in any reportable or perceptible manner. I will turn thirty (30) this year, which seems like it should be significant, though I am still unclear why. I am trying to avoid forcing any significance upon this occasion, hoping that whatever actual significance there may be will just reveal itself at the appropriate time. I will keep you posted on any developments on that front.
I feel that this needs must be a year in which a great many thing happen. That’s about as specific as I care to be at this point, but 2008, from this end, looks to be a fiery crucible of change, and whether I come out at the far end a much better man or a broken one is largely up to me and the choices I choose to make, the energy I put into these choices, and how hard I am willing and able to work at making things happen. (Wow! Another epiphany! I threw that one in for free, just because I’m such a swell guy.) I know that I am tired of not feeling proud to be myself, so the remedy has long seemed to me pretty obvious: I need to become someone I can be proud to be. Huh. Wish me luck on that.